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14th Nov 2007

Understanding the emotions of your child is extremely important as you are one of the most important people in his life.

When he is about three years old, these emotions begin to really come into focus and he becomes aware of feelings of sadness, joy, love, fear, disappointment, anger, happiness, caring and hatred.

Babies have emotions as well but they are mainly elementary emotions such as pleasure, fear, pain, discomfort and basically anything else that relates to his physical wellbeing.

From the ages of three to six, there is a rapid development of the child’s emotions and he is confronted with emotions in new ways. These new emotions may be quite intense and frightening for a child. As a parent, you need to help him to understand and cope with these emotions.

During this period, his anger may turn into tantrums, and his enthusiasm may show in inappropriate behaviour, bad dreams become nightmares, relatively small concerns become terrifying fears, and disappointment seems like the end of the world to him. He becomes vulnerable and can be easily hurt emotionally.

As the child progresses into his early years at school, his emotional world becomes much larger with friends, teachers, and even activities taking up a larger part of his life. His total dependency on his parents decreases.

At this stage, the child learns of new emotional experiences such as success and failure, competitiveness, approval and disapproval, and acceptance and rejection by his peers and others.

This can sometimes be exhilarating as he becomes involved in sport and other activities. It can also be harsh as the reality of ability and inability comes to the forefront of his world. After all, children can be cruel and hurtful to their peers if they perceive them to be inferior in their abilities in any way.

By the time the child reaches adolescence, his emotional experiences become more complex as friends become the core of his emotional life. This creates a pull away from the home and the family unit and can be quite confusing for the young person. Add to this the emotionally laden issues of sexuality and it can be very delightful as well as frightening for him.

At this point, the adolescent has become a physical and emotional being. For the most part, his world is reasonably well formed and he has an understanding of his emotions and coping strategies.

If, for any reason, the adolescent shows signs of being unable to cope with his emotions, it is important to seek professional help for him. Failure to do so may be a recipe for disaster. Some young people who have difficulty in coping may turn to drugs and alcohol as a coping strategy.